The Marriage Debt

in popular circles, when we speak of “the marriage debt” we speak of the sexual obligations that spouses share to eachother.

“Let the husband render the debt to his wife, and the wife also in like manner to the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband. And in like manner the husband also hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” (1 Cor. 7)

There is a far greater debt, however, that men take upon themselves in marriage, which few talk about: the financial debt of providing for a family.

Most men today think of the benefits of marriage when they consider which state of life they will choose. They are eager for marriage, thinking about sexual pleasure and home-cooked meals, but they don’t count the costs kf these goods. This is largely because modern expect their wives to work and split the bill, which is insane, but common.

The reality, for anyone with a sense of justics, is that the financial burden of family life falls entirely on the husband. In choosing marriage, he take upon himself a massive 50+ year debt that must be paid. It includes the entire household budget – the mortgage, car payments, groceries, insurance, property taxes, healthcare, education, utilities, on and on.

A man takes upon himself this financial burden – millions of dollars in American society – for the benefits he expects to gain from marriage.

There is no talk of this reality in the romance of dating, proposals, weddings and honeymoons. The sticker price is never mentioned to, or requested by, the groom. This, of course, is excused because he is moved by “love”, which takes no thought of real life.

What’s worse is that this recklelss and short-sighted pursuit of marriage is commonly dressed in all kinds of religious ceremony, but what cluld be less religious than a massive debt undertaken for the sake of carnal desires?

These men, after marrying will complain about the costs of married life, as if they were drafted into it by Nature, or even more ridiculously, by God himself. God, in fact, calls no one into marriage, but only forbids sexual immorality. Men committed to sexual pleasure are forced into marriage as their only option. The price they must pay for it is unknown when they sign the marriage contract, which God forbids them to break. So much for “religion”.

All of the financial and social stress of adult life is related to this voluntary pursuit of marriage. A single man is free to serve the Lord in the simplest and freest of circumstances. A married man forfeits that spiritual and material freedom voluntarily.

If men would count the costs, the Church would be filled with priests, monks — and nuns.

The disciples knew this when Christ explained His teaching on marriage:

“If the case of a man with his wife be so, it is not expedient to marry.” (Matthew 19:10)

WCM